The Lose Control Podcast

Episode 24 Part 1 Special Guest: Jamar Ryle "I was trying to fill that void", Honesty Open-minded Willingness

Jamar’s odyssey to recovery commenced on March 17th, 2018, a date etched in his memory as the beginning of a profound transformation. His narrative is a harrowing tapestry woven with threads of deep-seated depression, excruciating pain, and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and worthlessness. These emotions, intertwined with unmanageability, selfishness, and self-seeking behaviors, propelled him into an abyss of darkness. Jamar’s struggle with addiction was punctuated by harrowing episodes of suicidal ideation, seething rage, and a relentless cycle of denial and justification.

Jamar’s descent into substance use began at the tender age of 13 or 14. The very first encounter with a substance was a revelation, an intoxicating escape from a reality he found unbearable. Drugs, and any other means of obliterating his consciousness, swiftly became his paramount obsession. Despite not being overtly rebellious, Jamar was a soul in turmoil, grappling with the scars of abandonment and other personal demons. He fulfilled his obligations, such as attending school, but the hours after school became a sanctuary for his substance use.

Marijuana was his initial refuge, but as his addiction spiraled, he resorted to any substance he could procure.

Today, Jamar stands as a beacon of hope, a living testament to the possibility of recovery and the relentless journey it entails. No longer confined to a self-imposed prison, he embraces life with the gratitude of a recovering addict. His story is a powerful testament to the indomitable strength and resilience required to conquer addiction and rediscover hope and purpose in recovery.

Episode 23 " What can I put into the stream of life" Special Guest: Roger Layne

This week’s special guest is the returning Roger Layne from Week 2. Roger will delve into his extensive knowledge and experience with the virtues of Stoicism and the 12 principles of the twelve steps. These principles emphasize living a virtuous life, focusing on what is within our control, and accepting the natural order of things.

Roger will explain how the 12 principles provide a practical, day-to-day application of Stoic philosophy, breaking down its core tenets into actionable steps. While Stoicism offers the philosophical foundation, these principles present a structured approach to implementing these ideas in everyday life, making the ancient wisdom of Stoicism both accessible and practical for modern living.

Roger Layne,  seasoned in Stoic philosophy, will revisit the core virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. He will illustrate how these virtues can be cultivated through the 12 principles, which include understanding what is within our control, practicing self-reflection, and maintaining emotional stability. By focusing on these principles, individuals can develop resilience and clarity, enabling them to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and purpose.

Furthermore, Roger will highlight the importance of gratitude, acceptance of fate, and the practice of detachment from material possessions. These aspects of Stoicism encourage a mindset of contentment and peace, regardless of external circumstances. By embracing the inevitability of change and living by reason, one can achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.

 

Roger’s insights will demonstrate how Stoicism is not just a theoretical philosophy but a practical guide for everyday living. He will provide examples and anecdotes to show how these principles can be applied in various situations, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. This approach makes the ancient wisdom of Stoicism relevant and useful for contemporary audiences, helping them to lead more virtuous and meaningful lives.

Episode 22 "Help Other People Everyday" H.O.P.E. Special Guest April Parker

April Parker grew up in Indian Land, South Carolina, often escaping her tumultuous home life by playing outside, reading, and pretending to be a teacher. Despite being molested by her siblings and ignored by her parents, who were preoccupied with her father’s alcoholism, April excelled in academics and sports, earned a scholarship to Winthrop University, becoming the first in her family to attend college, and graduated with a BS in Elementary Education

 During college, she met her ex-husband, became pregnant, and was pressured into marriage, only to later discover he was already married and living under a false identity from Africa. Despite these challenges, April supported her family, completed her education, and became a middle school science teacher.

 After her father’s death from cancer in 2014, April felt lost but remained self-sufficient. However, she began using and selling drugs, got involved in illegal activities, and neglected her children. She quit teaching due to a scandal and turned to high-dollar prostitution and drug dealing, losing herself in the process. April was raped multiple times, and was incarcerated on October 20, 2020, leaving her kids under the care of gang members. Social services eventually stepped in and placed her kids with her mother, who then handed them to her ex-husband.

Encouraged by a fellow inmate, April sought help from the chaplain and realized she didn’t want to live like this anymore. The incarceration was April’s start to a life of sobriety, with a sobriety date of October 21, 2020.

After getting a bond, she went to a Sober Living home, although she stopped using drugs, April struggled with ingrained behaviors and the need for attention. Even though April was clean, the darkness continued to grow. April finally surrendered, began working the 12 steps, attending meetings and established a fitness and nutrition routine that brought her spiritual peace and a deeper connection with God.

April met a wonderful man who taught her about love, service, family, and recovery, but he passed away from COVID shortly after celebrating 14 years of sobriety. Despite numerous challenges, April found direction and support, choosing sobriety over the urge to use. She moved back into Sober Living home and began working at a treatment center. April dedicated herself to serving others as guided by God.

April now has a stable relationship with her kids, is engaged, and actively helps women in recovery, including sponsoring females in prison. She states, “Watching them heal, helps me heal”. April is involved in an addiction ministry, maintains strict routines and behaviors. April embodies the statement:

 “Living by the power of Christ and striving to love like Jesus until I am called to Heaven”.

Epsiode 21 Special Guest: Seth Vallet "From Hallucinations to Halos"

Seth Vallett’s life has been a rollercoaster of highs and lows, a symphony of triumphs and struggles. Born in the heart of Macon, Georgia, he emerged from a close-knit family—a tapestry woven with love and resilience.

As a teenager, Seth danced on the edge of existence, drawn to mind-altering substances like a moth to a flame. These choices led him down a treacherous path, where addiction wrapped its tendrils around his soul, threatening to extinguish his light. The future seemed uncertain, a foggy landscape where hope flickered like a distant star.

But in the midst of this darkness, Seth found unwavering support. His wife and family stood by his side, warriors in the battle against addiction. Together, they weathered storms, fought demons, and held onto the fragile thread of hope.

Rehabilitation centers became Seth’s battlegrounds, and he faced more than ten overdose incidents—each a near miss, a second chance. Yet it was a seemingly ordinary six-day detox that altered the course of his life forever. In those quiet moments, Seth encountered Jesus Christ—a revelation that transformed his pain into purpose. Faith became the cornerstone of his recovery, a lighthouse guiding him through the tempest.

Today, Seth stands as a testament to resilience. He wears honesty like armor, love like a warm embrace. In his community, he is more than a name; he is a beacon—a devoted father, a successful business owner, a friend, a role model. His scars tell stories of battles fought and won, etched into his skin like chapters of a gripping novel.

Beyond personal growth, Seth finds solace in the wild. Hunting and fishing are his cathedrals, where he connects with nature and himself. But it doesn’t end there. Seth’s heart spills over with compassion—he gives back through service work, a ripple of kindness in a troubled world.

He whispers to others in their darkest hours: “There is hope.” Seth believes that every twist of fate, every stumble, happens for a reason. His recovery journey, spanning nearly two years, is a testament to resilience, faith, and the power of redemption.

So, remember Seth Vallett—a survivor, a warrior, a man who turned brokenness into beauty. His story echoes through time, a melody of hope for those who listen

 

Episode 19 "When we get it...We gotta keep doing it!" GOD...COUNTRY...GUNS

Gerry Kelly: A Journey Across Oceans

Gerry Kelly, a man of seasoned years and weathered spirit, traces his origins to the cobbled streets of Dublin, Ireland. Born under the watchful eyes of the Emerald Isle, he carried dreams as fragile as the morning mist. But destiny, that elusive weaver of narratives, had grander plans.

In the fateful year of 1986, Gerry embarked on a pilgrimage across the Atlantic. With a mere $400 clutched tightly—a talisman against uncertainty—he stepped onto American soil. The United States, a symphony of ambition and opportunity, welcomed him with open arms. The Statue of Liberty, her torch ablaze, whispered secrets of reinvention and resilience.

And so Gerry stayed. Thirty-eight years etched into the marrow of his bones, each day a chapter in the epic saga of survival. Pamela Helms, a beacon of warmth and laughter, became his partner in this unfolding drama. On a sun-kissed June day in 2024, they exchanged vows—their love a bridge spanning continents, cultures, and shared dreams.

Their family portrait is a canvas of diversity: Together, they form a mosaic of love, resilience, and acceptance—a testament to the beauty of blended families. Their home reverberates with gratitude, and their hearts dance to a rhythm of compassion.

But Gerry and Pamela are more than mere spectators in life’s theater. Their purpose transcends the ordinary. They extend hands to those ensnared by addiction—the alcoholics, the lost souls—offering redemption in exchange for their own joy.

And then there are the constants: God, the silent architect; Country, its flag rippling in the wind; and Guns, symbols

of protection and heritage. Gerry’s allegiance is unwavering, a hymn sung in the language of calloused hands and sunburned necks.

 

“Trust in God,” Gerry declares, his voice a timeworn melody. For he knows that even amidst the scaffolding of construction sites, where sweat mingles with sawdust, there’s a divine blueprint guiding his steps.

May the winds carry his tale across oceans, whispering it to those who listen

 

Episode 18 Broken pieces: "We turned our pain into passion." Special guest: Lacy Spivey & Jesse Franklin

Jessie Franklin and Lacy Spivey: A Journey of Redemption and Resilience

Jessie Franklin and Lacy Spivey’s intertwined lives, marked by addiction and separation, ultimately led them back to each other. Their story serves as a beacon of hope for others, demonstrating that even in the darkest moments, redemption and resilience can pave the way to a new beginning.

1. High School Connection: Jessie and Lacy’s vibrant personalities drew them together during their high school years. Although their initial romance was brief, fate would reunite them later in life, weaving their paths together once more.
2. Bond Through Parenthood: Lacy’s pregnancy with their son, Hudson, solidified their bond. However, alcohol initially held them together while also fueling their downward spiral. Their shared responsibility as parents became a powerful force in their lives.
3. Struggles and Recovery: Jessie battled severe addiction, reaching a turning point where he chose sobriety and relocated to Georgia. Meanwhile, Lacy raised Hudson alone, navigating her own substance-related challenges.
4. Recommitment and Transformation: Despite their struggles, Jessie and Lacy recommitted to each other, embracing the 12-step recovery process. Jessie’s personal transformation led him to become a Certified Peer Support Specialist, while Lacy blossomed into the mother she aspired to be.
5. Shared Faith and Community: Their unwavering faith sustained them. Jessie now coaches his son’s basketball team, surrounded by a close-knit group of friends. Lacy continues her recovery journey, supporting others along the way.

In Jessie Franklin and Lacy Spivey’s remarkable journey, we find inspiration—a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for renewal and hope. 

JESSE FRANKLIN CONTACT INFO 

EMAIL : JESSIE@CourageCenterSC.ORG

(803)-546-8280

LACY SPIVEY CONTACT INFO  

EMAIL: lacyaspivey@gmail.com

(803)-243-2368

 

 

 

Episode 17 "I don't know how to NOT move forward" Special guest: Julie Cole

Julie’s Journey to Authenticity

 INSTAGRAM: Julie_Cole_Coaching / Julie@JulieCole.org

Julie Cole sat in the dimly lit room, her fingers tracing the edges of her sobriety coin. Twenty-six years. It felt like a lifetime and a heartbeat all at once. The room was filled with others—strangers who had become confidantes, their stories woven together like a patchwork quilt of resilience.

“If you live sober long enough,” Julie thought, “you’ll face joys and heartbreaks that cut to the core.” She knew this truth intimately. The laughter of newfound friends, the tears shed for lost loved ones—it was all part of the tapestry of recovery.

Julie’s journey hadn’t been pretty. It had been raw, messy, and achingly real. She’d stumbled, fallen, and risen again. Her transparency was her strength, her authenticity a beacon for those still finding their way.

As the owner of Julie Cole Counseling, Coaching & Consulting, LLC, Julie took a holistic approach to helping others. She understood that healing wasn’t just about abstinence; it was about rebuilding shattered lives. Her clients weren’t statistics; they were souls seeking redemption.

The #loveher Podcast was her passion project—a space where authenticity reigned. Julie’s soothing voice carried stories of triumph and struggle, weaving hope into the airwaves. Listeners tuned in, nodding along as she shared her own battles—the messy divorce, the late-night cravings, the quiet victories.

Twenty-five years in social work and substance use disorder counseling had etched lines of compassion on Julie’s face. She’d held trembling hands, wiped tears, and celebrated small victories. Her heart swelled when a client found their voice or a lost soul discovered purpose.

Public speaking was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Julie stood before crowds, her vulnerability a superpower. She spoke of resilience, of the beauty in brokenness. Her certifications—Licensed Master Social Worker, Certified Peer Support Specialist, Certified Personal Trainer, Certified Health Coach, and Certified Nutrition Coach—were mere labels. What mattered was the fire within her—the unwavering belief that everyone deserved a second chance.

At home, Julie juggled motherhood with grace. Two children, a spoiled dog, a guinea pig, two rats, and two fish—they were her heart. She taught them empathy, resilience, and the value of authenticity. They laughed together, huddled under blankets during thunderstorms, and whispered secrets late at night.

And then there were her escapes—the gym, where sweat washed away worries; camping trips, where nature whispered ancient truths; hikes that led to mountaintop revelations; and travels that expanded her soul.

Julie Cole—the woman who wore her scars proudly, who turned vulnerability into strength. Her journey wasn’t linear, but it was authentic. And as she sat in that room, surrounded by fellow travelers, she knew she was exactly where she needed to be.

Episode 16 "Before I knew it." Special guest: Jodi Friend

Jodi’s Journey: From Darkness to Hope

Jodi’s path through addiction, recovery, and the pain of loss has been an arduous one. The weight of shame and guilt rests heavily on her shoulders, yet she remains resolute in her quest for strength and sobriety. Despite enduring immense heartache, Jodi channels her experiences into helping others while safeguarding her own well-being.

Together with her husband and son, Jodi’s commitment to staying clean reflects the unbreakable bonds of family love and resilience. Their shared journey is a testament to their unwavering faith and passion for grace. Facing adversity at its deepest levels, Jodi confronts her emotions head-on, drawing strength from every available source.

In her 3.5-year clean journey, Jodi encountered three relapses in December and January. The turning point? The guilt stemming from her son’s overdose on December 31, 2024. Jodi believes her purpose extends beyond mere survival—it may even be divinely ordained.

Her pain resonates universally: countless people in active addiction won’t survive, leaving shattered families behind. Jodi would sacrifice herself to spare a stranger from such anguish.

Jodi’s transformation is remarkable. Once ensnared by addiction, she now embraces faith, supporting others seeking change. Yet, she’s learned that self-care matters too. Her son’s recovery from fentanyl and heroin addiction serves as a poignant reminder of the delicate balance between helping others and preserving one’s own well-being. Jodi’s inner honesty fuels her commitment to personal growth. Her spirit stands as a humbling testament: no matter the trials, with divine grace, we can prevail.