The Lose Control Podcast

Episode 32 Special Guest: Matthew Parsley "I didn't want to say YES - I couldn't say NO"

This week’s special guest is Matthew Parsley. Born in Long Beach, Long Island, and raised in Dillon, South Carolina, by his grandmother and great-grandmother from the age of six, Matthew's early life was deeply influenced by a religious and spiritual household. Church provided solace, but his childhood was also marked by the trauma of being molested by a favorite cousin, a secret that cast a long shadow over his formative years. Unlike other boys, Matthew felt different, gravitating towards girls and finding comfort in their company. His grandmother introduced him to baseball, but another hidden, darker world beckoned, fueled by his father's stash of VHS tapes and DVDs. Pornography, masturbation, and eventually promiscuity became secret addictions that led him to unimaginable places.

College in Daytona Beach, Florida, brought new experiences and vices. Introduced to weed by his best friend, who passed away in 2010, Matthew became a weekend warrior. Transient sexual relations and pornography addiction escalated, leading to missed classes and lost opportunities. Despite graduating, he didn't earn a degree, having lost his band scholarship due to poor attendance.

In 2016, Matthew moved to New York City, where the grip of sex and drugs tightened around his life. Methamphetamine became his new demon, intensifying his sex addiction and leading him down the path of intravenous drug use. Soon, he found himself ostracized after testing HIV positive. His family feared for his safety as he vanished into the city's underbelly. The stroke his father suffered only deepened Matthew's resentment and fueled his desire to escape through drugs, leaving his mother to care for his ailing father alone. This period marked a profound descent into darkness, where the weight of his choices and the pain of his reality collided.

By 2022, Matthew had reached the lowest point in his life. Suicidal and broken, he found himself in the back of a sheriff's car on the way to detox. His first meeting at Primary Purpose in Myrtle Beach was a pivotal moment, marking the start of his transformation. It was there that Matthew came to understand his spiritual sickness.

Today, Matthew is a new man, rebuilt by the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship of the spirit. He passionately says, “Staying stopped… getting high… that’s the small part. It’s what’s inside that needs reparations.” Matthew's presence today is a testament to his choice to be present, living one day at a time.

Matthew's spiritual relationship with God and others is now the cornerstone of his life. Embracing life's terms and focusing on the journey rather than the outcome, he greets each day with profound gratitude and purpose. His entry into Oaks Recovery on his mother's birthday, June 25, symbolizes his rebirth and unwavering commitment to a brighter future. Matthew dedicates himself to helping other addicts, working diligently, and forgiving himself for past mistakes. His journey is a profound testament to the boundless possibility of change and the unbreakable resilience of the human spirit.

 

Episode 31 Special Guest: HYPE "Ramen noodles out of a hubcap"

Hype's story is one of unimaginable pain and redemption. Born in prison, he faced a life of hardship from the very beginning. At 11, he witnessed his mother's death, and by 12, he endured relentless physical abuse. In a desperate act of self-defense, Hype set his abuser on fire, leading to a sentence of juvenile life. He was released at 19, only to face more turmoil.

In 2001, Hype's twin brother was deployed overseas, but Hype was denied the chance to join him because of his criminal record. In a fit of rage and despair, in January 2002, he stormed a federal courthouse with pipe bombs and assault rifles, resulting in a conviction for domestic terrorism and a 480-month sentence in a high-security prison. The loss of his twin to suicide, driven by PTSD from military service, only deepened Hype's anguish.

While incarcerated, Hype's anger led him to assault another inmate, leaving the man to die of hypothermia in a prison freezer. This act sent Hype to the A.D.X. Supermax security prison, all before he turned 25.

Tragedy continued to follow Hype. He accidentally killed his wife and her son in a car wreck, leaving him lost and alone, feeling destined to live in hell on earth. In his despair, Hype found himself drawn to a supremacist group, seeking a sense of belonging in a dark place. But amidst the darkness, a glimmer of hope emerged. Hype was saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for humanity on Calvary. God pulled him from the depths of hell, showing him a path to redemption. Hype learned to love himself and others after years of becoming calloused. He fell in love once again and began to start a new life, a new soul with a gift from God—a soulmate.

However, Hype endured yet another loss. Despite finding redemption and growth, his girlfriend relapsed and committed suicide. Hype found himself in such despair, feeling destined only to experience grief, pain, and heartache, he thoughts led to one final answer to stop the pain. It was then that God revealed to Hype his true purpose: to help save other young boys from the same trauma he endured. To help others escape the shackles of self-loathing and self-destruction. Through his faith and newfound mission, Hype transformed his life, dedicating himself to guiding others out of the darkness and into the light.

Episode 30 PART 3 Special Guest: Ashleigh & Lance Cline "This is the life I prayed for"

Introducing our special guests this week: Ashleigh and Lance Cline – “This is the life I prayed for.”

Ashleigh and Lance's story began in 2019 when they connected through the Any Length Recovery Facebook page. At that time, Ashleigh was just four months out of prison, starting to rebuild her life, while Lance was emerging from his own prison, the trap houses of W. Baltimore. Both were early in their recovery journeys, with Lance seeking convenience rather than a relationship. Ashleigh made it clear she wasn't interested in casual encounters, and they decided to take it slow—a new experience for both. They spent a month talking on the phone, getting to know each other.

Once Ashleigh regained her license, she drove to Sumter to visit Lance, living at a men's recovery home, working full-time, and learning how to navigate life as an honest, responsible person. She drove every chance she got and began to fall in love. Initially, Lance viewed their connection as short-term and superficial. Despite their differences, they found solace, peace, and understanding in each other, creating an unshakeable foundation.

Those weekend visits became a cherished routine. Not long after, Lance experienced a new season of true love. He got a car, and together they maximized their time, traveling back and forth. Trust came naturally despite the distance. The power of a Higher Calm unveiled true love and brought them closer. Ashleigh fell in love with Lance's passion and commitment to recovery—his very essence. Lance fell in love with Ashleigh’s smile, goofy energy, and zeal for life.

On June 18, 2022, Ashleigh and Lance got married. Over the years, these two unlikely personalities have grown immensely together. Their love story is like a fairytale written by the Coen Brothers, transforming from hell to heaven on earth—a metamorphosis from a worm to a beautiful butterfly. They have learned to take responsibility and build their lives side by side, brick by brick. Honest and raw communication has been the cornerstone of their marriage, preventing real trials and tribulations. Navigating life as sober individuals, they continuously help others along the way.

Lance and Ashleigh are best friends and steadfast supporters in all areas of life. They are deeply in love with the concept of family and are committed to being a part of it. They understand the importance of giving advice when needed and practicing reflective listening to truly connect with each other's souls and thoughts. Their journey together is a testament to growth, love, and mutual support.

 

 

Episode 29 Special Guest: Chris Lane 2 cases - 2 handles - 2 days "Oaks Recovery saved my life"

Chris Lane, 35, was born in the small town of Rumford, Maine.  At the age of five, he moved with his parents to the rural parts of Columbia and Lexington, South Carolina.

Growing up, Chris witnessed most of his family either battling addiction or navigating recovery. Following this difficult family legacy, he began drinking at 14. Like many, his relationship with alcohol saw peaks and valleys, his daily life revolving around his next drink.

In 2020, as the world spiraled out of control, so did Chris's drinking. It became a constant companion, making work and everyday activities impossible to face sober.

It wasn’t until 2023 that Chris finally entered a recovery program, a journey marked by multiple relapses. Only at Oaks Recovery, where he found true enlightenment and a profound spiritual shift, did Chris realize he needed no reservations—just trust in the process. By surrendering control and embracing his Higher Power, he discovered that recovery is real.

Today, Chris’s story is one of resilience and transformation.  Embracing self-awareness with tenderness has allowed him to grow and heal, turning his vulnerabilities into strengths.  This vulnerability creates a space for honest connection, allowing him and his fellows to truly understand and support each other. Chris's journey proves that even in the face of adversity, there is hope and a path forward.

Episode 28 PART 2 " It's always the Mexican restaurants! " Special Guest Ashleigh Cline

Ashleigh Cline is a certified peer support specialist at Westview Behavioral Health. After a turbulent road filled with addiction, trauma, and significant personal loss her story has transformed dramatically from one of despair to one of resilience and post-traumatic growth. Her twelve-year battle with addiction marked the beginning of a profound journey of self-discovery, leading her to the threshold of recovery.

On January 26, 2025, Ashleigh will celebrate seven years of sobriety. Her recovery journey now centers around sharing her experiences of addiction, loss, 17 months of incarceration, and eventual recovery. Refusing to be haunted by her past, Ashleigh chose to turn her suffering into a source of courage and support for others. By actively participating in the recovery community, she has witnessed how resilience can transform lives-not just her own, but also those she has had the honor to help. Each shared story becomes a beacon of hope, demonstrating that overcoming hardship and finding meaning beyond addiction is possible.

In March 2023, at 43 years old, Ashleigh returned to college at Limestone University to pursue her bachelor's degree in social work. Maintaining a 4.0 GPA, she is on track to graduate in December 2024. Her academic journey has been challenging yet incredibly rewarding, reaffirming her commitment to helping others. With a blend of personal experience and professional training, Ashleigh plans to begin working as an addiction and substance use counselor in December. Her journey through recovery has provided her with a unique perspective and deep empathy for those facing similar struggles. Ashleigh is dedicated to positively impacting the lives of individuals battling addiction, guiding them toward their own paths to recovery, just as she found hers.

 

 

Episode 26 " A glimpse at a solution

This week’s conversation is with a small group of people interested in understanding my design for living. The conversation is raw and honest, and not everyone may be receptive to it. This is the beauty of choice. We no longer have to live our lives concerned about others’ opinions and expectations of us. Find your tribe, seek out mentors—more than one if possible. Love yourself, continue to grow, and aim to be 1% better every day.

We stay focused on the solution, always striving to be better than we were yesterday. True transformation doesn’t come from mere contemplation; it requires action. You can’t think your way into right thinking; you have to act your way into it. Embrace self-love and recognize that your Higher Power is always present, waiting for you to open that channel. Detach your ego and eliminate reactive behaviors.

Take criticism not as a setback but as an opportunity for growth. Objectively assess its validity and calmly evaluate the feedback. This enhances our ability to navigate challenging personalities and situations with grace. The ability to differentiate between the mountains of criticism and negativity we face daily and the opportunities they present is vital for personal and professional growth.

Using criticism to focus on our present emotional intellect helps us stay mentally and emotionally in the moment. This is a pivotal skill for avoiding the darkness that comes with resentment and defensiveness. Prioritize intellect over emotion (I over E).

By focusing on these principles, we can cultivate a life of continuous improvement and resilience. It’s about embracing the journey, learning from every experience, and finding strength in our connections and self-love

Enjoy the conversation.

Episode 27 PART 1 " We're talking about behaviors" Special Guest: Lance Cline

Lance Cline hails from the heart of Maryland. His childhood was shaped within the nurturing yet challenging environment of Recovery, as both of his parents have been steadfast in their Recovery journey for over 40 years. This unique upbringing instilled in Lance a deep understanding of the struggles and triumphs that come with addiction and recovery.

In 2017, Lance’s world was shattered when he lost his brother to a fentanyl overdose. The grief and despair that followed were overwhelming, plunging Lance into a dark abyss of hopelessness and self-doubt. This profound loss became the catalyst for his own battle with addiction, leading Lance down a harrowing path that left him homeless on the unforgiving streets of Baltimore.

Lance’s journey to recovery was anything but straightforward. It took the relentless pursuit of healing through 20 treatment centers before he finally found solace in surrender and acceptance. This pivotal moment marked the beginning of Lance’s transformation.

Today, Lance stands proud, having been sober for six years. His unwavering belief in the 12 steps and the transformative power of service to others has been the cornerstone of Lance’s recovery. This commitment to helping others has not only fortified his own sobriety but has also given Lance a life, profound in meaning and purpose.

Every day, Lance strives to live in the solution, embracing the challenges and joys that come with a life dedicated to recovery. Lance’s mission is to guide others towards the light of recovery, offering hope and support to those still struggling. Through Lance’s journey, he has learned that even in our darkest moments, there is always a path to redemption and a chance to rebuild our lives with love, compassion, and unwavering determination.

Episode 25 Part 2 Jamar Ryle "I was trying to fill that void" Honesty Openminded Willingness

Jamar’s journey is a vivid illustration of the human spirit’s capacity to endure and triumph. It speaks to the courage needed to face one’s demons, the unwavering determination to reclaim one’s life, and the rediscovery of hope and purpose that fuels the path to recovery. His transformation is a beacon for others, illuminating the way forward and proving that with relentless effort and unwavering support, recovery is not just a possibility but a profound reality.

Today, Jamar stands as a radiant beacon of hope, a living testament to the profound possibility of recovery and the arduous journey it demands. No longer shackled by the chains of a self-imposed prison, he now embraces life with the profound gratitude and vigor of one who has emerged from the darkest depths of addiction. His story is not just a narrative of survival but a powerful testament to the indomitable strength and resilience required to conquer the relentless grip of addiction.