The Lose Control Podcast

Episode 29 Special Guest: Chris Lane 2 cases - 2 handles - 2 days "Oaks Recovery saved my life"

Chris Lane, 35, was born in the small town of Rumford, Maine.  At the age of five, he moved with his parents to the rural parts of Columbia and Lexington, South Carolina.

Growing up, Chris witnessed most of his family either battling addiction or navigating recovery. Following this difficult family legacy, he began drinking at 14. Like many, his relationship with alcohol saw peaks and valleys, his daily life revolving around his next drink.

In 2020, as the world spiraled out of control, so did Chris's drinking. It became a constant companion, making work and everyday activities impossible to face sober.

It wasn’t until 2023 that Chris finally entered a recovery program, a journey marked by multiple relapses. Only at Oaks Recovery, where he found true enlightenment and a profound spiritual shift, did Chris realize he needed no reservations—just trust in the process. By surrendering control and embracing his Higher Power, he discovered that recovery is real.

Today, Chris’s story is one of resilience and transformation.  Embracing self-awareness with tenderness has allowed him to grow and heal, turning his vulnerabilities into strengths.  This vulnerability creates a space for honest connection, allowing him and his fellows to truly understand and support each other. Chris's journey proves that even in the face of adversity, there is hope and a path forward.

Episode 28 PART 2 " It's always the Mexican restaurants! " Special Guest Ashleigh Cline

Ashleigh Cline is a certified peer support specialist at Westview Behavioral Health. After a turbulent road filled with addiction, trauma, and significant personal loss her story has transformed dramatically from one of despair to one of resilience and post-traumatic growth. Her twelve-year battle with addiction marked the beginning of a profound journey of self-discovery, leading her to the threshold of recovery.

On January 26, 2025, Ashleigh will celebrate seven years of sobriety. Her recovery journey now centers around sharing her experiences of addiction, loss, 17 months of incarceration, and eventual recovery. Refusing to be haunted by her past, Ashleigh chose to turn her suffering into a source of courage and support for others. By actively participating in the recovery community, she has witnessed how resilience can transform lives-not just her own, but also those she has had the honor to help. Each shared story becomes a beacon of hope, demonstrating that overcoming hardship and finding meaning beyond addiction is possible.

In March 2023, at 43 years old, Ashleigh returned to college at Limestone University to pursue her bachelor's degree in social work. Maintaining a 4.0 GPA, she is on track to graduate in December 2024. Her academic journey has been challenging yet incredibly rewarding, reaffirming her commitment to helping others. With a blend of personal experience and professional training, Ashleigh plans to begin working as an addiction and substance use counselor in December. Her journey through recovery has provided her with a unique perspective and deep empathy for those facing similar struggles. Ashleigh is dedicated to positively impacting the lives of individuals battling addiction, guiding them toward their own paths to recovery, just as she found hers.

 

 

Episode 26 " A glimpse at a solution

This week’s conversation is with a small group of people interested in understanding my design for living. The conversation is raw and honest, and not everyone may be receptive to it. This is the beauty of choice. We no longer have to live our lives concerned about others’ opinions and expectations of us. Find your tribe, seek out mentors—more than one if possible. Love yourself, continue to grow, and aim to be 1% better every day.

We stay focused on the solution, always striving to be better than we were yesterday. True transformation doesn’t come from mere contemplation; it requires action. You can’t think your way into right thinking; you have to act your way into it. Embrace self-love and recognize that your Higher Power is always present, waiting for you to open that channel. Detach your ego and eliminate reactive behaviors.

Take criticism not as a setback but as an opportunity for growth. Objectively assess its validity and calmly evaluate the feedback. This enhances our ability to navigate challenging personalities and situations with grace. The ability to differentiate between the mountains of criticism and negativity we face daily and the opportunities they present is vital for personal and professional growth.

Using criticism to focus on our present emotional intellect helps us stay mentally and emotionally in the moment. This is a pivotal skill for avoiding the darkness that comes with resentment and defensiveness. Prioritize intellect over emotion (I over E).

By focusing on these principles, we can cultivate a life of continuous improvement and resilience. It’s about embracing the journey, learning from every experience, and finding strength in our connections and self-love

Enjoy the conversation.

Episode 27 PART 1 " We're talking about behaviors" Special Guest: Lance Cline

Lance Cline hails from the heart of Maryland. His childhood was shaped within the nurturing yet challenging environment of Recovery, as both of his parents have been steadfast in their Recovery journey for over 40 years. This unique upbringing instilled in Lance a deep understanding of the struggles and triumphs that come with addiction and recovery.

In 2017, Lance’s world was shattered when he lost his brother to a fentanyl overdose. The grief and despair that followed were overwhelming, plunging Lance into a dark abyss of hopelessness and self-doubt. This profound loss became the catalyst for his own battle with addiction, leading Lance down a harrowing path that left him homeless on the unforgiving streets of Baltimore.

Lance’s journey to recovery was anything but straightforward. It took the relentless pursuit of healing through 20 treatment centers before he finally found solace in surrender and acceptance. This pivotal moment marked the beginning of Lance’s transformation.

Today, Lance stands proud, having been sober for six years. His unwavering belief in the 12 steps and the transformative power of service to others has been the cornerstone of Lance’s recovery. This commitment to helping others has not only fortified his own sobriety but has also given Lance a life, profound in meaning and purpose.

Every day, Lance strives to live in the solution, embracing the challenges and joys that come with a life dedicated to recovery. Lance’s mission is to guide others towards the light of recovery, offering hope and support to those still struggling. Through Lance’s journey, he has learned that even in our darkest moments, there is always a path to redemption and a chance to rebuild our lives with love, compassion, and unwavering determination.

Episode 25 Part 2 Jamar Ryle "I was trying to fill that void" Honesty Openminded Willingness

Jamar’s journey is a vivid illustration of the human spirit’s capacity to endure and triumph. It speaks to the courage needed to face one’s demons, the unwavering determination to reclaim one’s life, and the rediscovery of hope and purpose that fuels the path to recovery. His transformation is a beacon for others, illuminating the way forward and proving that with relentless effort and unwavering support, recovery is not just a possibility but a profound reality.

Today, Jamar stands as a radiant beacon of hope, a living testament to the profound possibility of recovery and the arduous journey it demands. No longer shackled by the chains of a self-imposed prison, he now embraces life with the profound gratitude and vigor of one who has emerged from the darkest depths of addiction. His story is not just a narrative of survival but a powerful testament to the indomitable strength and resilience required to conquer the relentless grip of addiction.

 

Episode 24 Part 1 Special Guest: Jamar Ryle "I was trying to fill that void", Honesty Open-minded Willingness

Jamar’s odyssey to recovery commenced on March 17th, 2018, a date etched in his memory as the beginning of a profound transformation. His narrative is a harrowing tapestry woven with threads of deep-seated depression, excruciating pain, and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and worthlessness. These emotions, intertwined with unmanageability, selfishness, and self-seeking behaviors, propelled him into an abyss of darkness. Jamar’s struggle with addiction was punctuated by harrowing episodes of suicidal ideation, seething rage, and a relentless cycle of denial and justification.

Jamar’s descent into substance use began at the tender age of 13 or 14. The very first encounter with a substance was a revelation, an intoxicating escape from a reality he found unbearable. Drugs, and any other means of obliterating his consciousness, swiftly became his paramount obsession. Despite not being overtly rebellious, Jamar was a soul in turmoil, grappling with the scars of abandonment and other personal demons. He fulfilled his obligations, such as attending school, but the hours after school became a sanctuary for his substance use.

Marijuana was his initial refuge, but as his addiction spiraled, he resorted to any substance he could procure.

Today, Jamar stands as a beacon of hope, a living testament to the possibility of recovery and the relentless journey it entails. No longer confined to a self-imposed prison, he embraces life with the gratitude of a recovering addict. His story is a powerful testament to the indomitable strength and resilience required to conquer addiction and rediscover hope and purpose in recovery.

Episode 23 " What can I put into the stream of life" Special Guest: Roger Layne

This week’s special guest is the returning Roger Layne from Week 2. Roger will delve into his extensive knowledge and experience with the virtues of Stoicism and the 12 principles of the twelve steps. These principles emphasize living a virtuous life, focusing on what is within our control, and accepting the natural order of things.

Roger will explain how the 12 principles provide a practical, day-to-day application of Stoic philosophy, breaking down its core tenets into actionable steps. While Stoicism offers the philosophical foundation, these principles present a structured approach to implementing these ideas in everyday life, making the ancient wisdom of Stoicism both accessible and practical for modern living.

Roger Layne,  seasoned in Stoic philosophy, will revisit the core virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. He will illustrate how these virtues can be cultivated through the 12 principles, which include understanding what is within our control, practicing self-reflection, and maintaining emotional stability. By focusing on these principles, individuals can develop resilience and clarity, enabling them to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and purpose.

Furthermore, Roger will highlight the importance of gratitude, acceptance of fate, and the practice of detachment from material possessions. These aspects of Stoicism encourage a mindset of contentment and peace, regardless of external circumstances. By embracing the inevitability of change and living by reason, one can achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.

 

Roger’s insights will demonstrate how Stoicism is not just a theoretical philosophy but a practical guide for everyday living. He will provide examples and anecdotes to show how these principles can be applied in various situations, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. This approach makes the ancient wisdom of Stoicism relevant and useful for contemporary audiences, helping them to lead more virtuous and meaningful lives.

Episode 22 "Help Other People Everyday" H.O.P.E. Special Guest April Parker

April Parker grew up in Indian Land, South Carolina, often escaping her tumultuous home life by playing outside, reading, and pretending to be a teacher. Despite being molested by her siblings and ignored by her parents, who were preoccupied with her father’s alcoholism, April excelled in academics and sports, earned a scholarship to Winthrop University, becoming the first in her family to attend college, and graduated with a BS in Elementary Education

 During college, she met her ex-husband, became pregnant, and was pressured into marriage, only to later discover he was already married and living under a false identity from Africa. Despite these challenges, April supported her family, completed her education, and became a middle school science teacher.

 After her father’s death from cancer in 2014, April felt lost but remained self-sufficient. However, she began using and selling drugs, got involved in illegal activities, and neglected her children. She quit teaching due to a scandal and turned to high-dollar prostitution and drug dealing, losing herself in the process. April was raped multiple times, and was incarcerated on October 20, 2020, leaving her kids under the care of gang members. Social services eventually stepped in and placed her kids with her mother, who then handed them to her ex-husband.

Encouraged by a fellow inmate, April sought help from the chaplain and realized she didn’t want to live like this anymore. The incarceration was April’s start to a life of sobriety, with a sobriety date of October 21, 2020.

After getting a bond, she went to a Sober Living home, although she stopped using drugs, April struggled with ingrained behaviors and the need for attention. Even though April was clean, the darkness continued to grow. April finally surrendered, began working the 12 steps, attending meetings and established a fitness and nutrition routine that brought her spiritual peace and a deeper connection with God.

April met a wonderful man who taught her about love, service, family, and recovery, but he passed away from COVID shortly after celebrating 14 years of sobriety. Despite numerous challenges, April found direction and support, choosing sobriety over the urge to use. She moved back into Sober Living home and began working at a treatment center. April dedicated herself to serving others as guided by God.

April now has a stable relationship with her kids, is engaged, and actively helps women in recovery, including sponsoring females in prison. She states, “Watching them heal, helps me heal”. April is involved in an addiction ministry, maintains strict routines and behaviors. April embodies the statement:

 “Living by the power of Christ and striving to love like Jesus until I am called to Heaven”.