The Lose Control Podcast

Unfolding, Unapologetic & Unfinished ft: "SIMPLY KATIE"

Episode Title: Simply Katie — Unfolding, Unapologetic & Unfinished

Series Theme: A Paradox to Positive, Peaceful Living

Guest: Katie (aka Katie B, Katie W, Katie U)

Sobriety Date: September 23, 2005

 Episode Summary

This week, we sit with a woman whose story doesn’t just echo through the rooms—it roars through the silence most people are too afraid to face. Katie has lived many lives under many names, but today, she’s stripped it all down. She’s simply Katie.

Nearly 20 years sober, Katie’s journey is one of chaos, clarity, and courage. From childhood trauma and addiction by age 15 to a suicide attempt at 20, her path to recovery began with a single act of surrender. She found refuge in Oxford House and rebuilt her life—one breath, one breakdown, one truth at a time.

Katie’s recovery is layered and lived. She’s a sponsor, treasurer, and servant leader in the rooms. She’s helped the very friend who gave her her first drink find sobriety years later. Her story is full-circle. Full of grit. Full of grace.

She’s known redemption: a career in finance, homeownership, and financial freedom. And reckoning—spending a night in jail sober after 19 years, facing demons she thought were buried. Her life is proof that recovery isn’t a finish line—it’s a daily choice.

Katie finds peace in meditation, nature, and the power of pen and paper. The Big Book isn’t just something she reads—it’s something she breathes. She’s never cured. Always becoming.

Her family is the tribe she’s found in recovery. Her soul rests best by the ocean or a mountain river. She’s danced, cried, created, and sat in the stillness of early morning coffee with nothing but gratitude and grit.

This episode isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about what happens when you lose control of the life you thought you wanted… and find the one you were born to live.

"Boardrooms Barrooms and Blurred Boundaries" ft: Ted Bauer

Today’s guest is someone who hasn’t just lived through life’s seasons—he’s been shaped, shattered, and spiritually reassembled by them.

From Catholic boyhood and altar steps to the chaos of addiction and unspoken wounds…
From the reckless rebellion of youth to decades lost in boardrooms, barrooms, and blurred boundaries...
From collapsing under the weight of ego to rising with humility as compass.

This isn’t just a story—it’s a resurrection.

Ted Bower’s life is a layered testimony: innocence undone, trauma absorbed, rebellion ignited, and clarity earned. He’s walked through silence, storms, and surrender. And he’s come out the other side not perfect—but honest. Not untouched—but transformed.

What looks like rock bottom? For him, it was the ground floor of transformation.
Where Step One wasn't just recovery language—it was a spiritual reckoning.

Through God-moments and brutal honesty, through Steps and service, Ted discovered that true healing doesn’t come in the absence of pain—it’s born right in the middle of it. His path reveals something simple but profound: the disease doesn’t need liquor, and the soul doesn’t need applause. It needs truth. Stillness. And a willingness to be undone.

Now, at 50+, Ted isn’t finished—he’s barely scratching the surface.
Still dissolving. Still listening. Still becoming.

So if you’ve ever found yourself caught between projection and purpose, performance and peace… this one’s for you.

This is not just a conversation.
It’s a confession.
A reckoning.
A spiritual initiation into the seasons that shape us… and the choices that save us.

Let’s dive in.

"Our submergence is our transformation"

Submergence is not our end—it's how we begin again.

On The Lose Control Podcast, we explore what happens when we stop clutching for control... and start trusting the pull. Because life doesn’t just ask us to let go—it pulls us under. Into grief. Into love. Into silence. Into seasons that don’t make sense on paper but are perfectly designed to shape our becoming.

Submergence is the paradox: we sink in order to rise.
We dissolve in order to become whole.

The invitation isn’t to drown. It’s to surrender.
To be undone. Unnamed. Unraveled.
Because underneath the surface is where transformation gets real.
It’s dark there. Pressurized. Sacred.
But that’s the birthplace of peace—not the manufactured kind, but the raw, rooted kind. The kind that breathes under weight.

Lose control—not as defeat, but as initiation.
Because what if peace isn’t found in holding it all together…
But in letting yourself fall apart on purpose?

On this show, we don’t glorify drowning. We honor the dive.
We talk about the courage it takes to fall beneath the ego. To be still. To be stripped.
And to rise—not perfect, but honest. Not untouched, but transformed.

If you’re feeling like you’re sinking, good.
Maybe that’s exactly where your freedom begins.
Not above. But beneath.
Where control is surrendered
And the real you gets born.

 

Recovery in Action - Limited series - "Resentments" ft. Chris Lane

Resentment is a slow poison—one that corrodes the spirit, erodes peace, and traps you in a cycle of stagnation. It festers, feeding off unspoken wounds and unfinished battles, making you more bitter, more disconnected, more imprisoned in your own mind. And the truth is, no one else suffers as much as you do when resentment takes hold. It rots from the inside out.
The antidote? Honest, fearless communication—with yourself first. Because if you can’t be real with yourself, every other relationship suffers. You can’t truly function at your highest level, process emotions with clarity, or connect deeply with others. Growth begins when you stop running from your own thoughts and instead build a working relationship with them—when you sit with your feelings, acknowledge them without judgment, and decide to move forward with clarity.
Find a tribe that lives in a way that resonates with you. Watch how they move, how they carry themselves, how they navigate adversity. Align yourself with people who don’t just talk about change—but live it. And when you find that, lean into it. Adapt, evolve, follow in their footsteps until you carve your own way.
Believe in something greater than yourself—a Higher Calm, a bigger purpose, a guiding force that keeps you steady when life gets chaotic. Trust that even when things feel uncertain, there’s a plan unfolding. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Give yourself grace. Allow room for mistakes, for missteps, for imperfection. Because here’s the reality—there are no do-overs. We get one shot at this life. And the only way to truly live it is to accept that we are all figuring it out as we go.
So drop the weight of resentment. Be brutally honest with yourself. Move toward people who elevate you. Trust in something bigger. And give yourself the grace to grow.

Episode 2 "Prison to Poipubeach.com" Ft: Roz

Rosalynn Bourgeois, known as Roz, was born and raised just outside of Washington, DC, in PG County, MD. Growing up as a minority in a tumultuous household, she constantly felt the pressure to fit in and seek attention, especially with her parents embroiled in constant conflict. Roz identifies as a recovering Catholic, having endured religious beliefs that were aggressively forced upon her in a manner she describes as spiritually abusive. The weight of this upbringing required years of therapy to unravel and heal from, a journey she embarked on after achieving sobriety. 
Despite the chaos, Roz excelled in school and was a dedicated soccer player. She graduated with an Economics degree but fell into a toxic relationship and eventually cracked. A psychotic relapse spiraled out of control, driving Roz to move to Charlotte in a desperate bid to "escape" life. For nine harrowing months, she hit rock bottom, DJing for days without sleep, entangled in a chaotic cycle of self-destruction. Her first arrest was in 2008, leading to a felony and time in county jail. Weekends in county became a nightmare after a dirty urine test sent her to prison for three years. Vowing to never use again, Roz quickly found herself back in the same destructive patterns.. It was in 2013, at a rehab in Michigan, that Roz finally found the lifeline she needed to get clean.. A decade ago, she walked into her last rehab with a felony record, a dismal 500 credit score, and an empty bank account. Her personal relationships were in tatters, ravaged by addiction, childhood trauma, and the severe emotional immaturity that came from years of drug-induced self-centeredness. Though her journey wasn't without setbacks, Roz has been thriving since 2015, relentlessly dedicated to transforming her life and mindset.
Today, Roz stands as a testament to the power of relentless dedication and profound personal growth. Her journey from the depths of despair to a life filled with achievement and purpose is a powerful reminder of the human spirit's capacity for change. Roz's story is one of passionate resolve, illustrating that no matter how deep the fall, the climb back up is always possible with unwavering commitment and the right support. Roz stands as a triumphant force, embodying the power of transformation and resilience. As the Director of Business Development for her employer, she brings her wealth of experience and drive to her role. Roz holds both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree, and she is licensed to sell real estate in Hawaii, She owns three properties through the business she created, reflecting her entrepreneurial spirit and hard work. Roz’s journey has taken her across the globe, allowing her to experience the richness of over 20 countries a testament to her unwavering determination and skill.
Married to a loving and supportive man, Roz has built a life of stability and love.. Roz's personal relationships and entire life have blossomed beyond her wildest dreams, a direct result of her decision to take control of her destiny. Her story is not just about overcoming addiction but about harnessing the strength within to build a life of purpose and fulfillment. Roz's journey is a profound testament to the indomitable human spirit and the incredible possibilities that arise when we dare to reclaim our lives. Her path to recovery has been nothing short of extraordinary.
She passionately declares "I am the creator of my world, so I better make choices that align with my dreams,". For Roz, it's about reclaiming her life from the grip of addiction and living with intention, on her own terms. Her story is a powerful testament to the human spirit's resilience and the unwavering commitment to personal growth. Roz has emerged as a beacon of transformation and resilience. 

Episode 1: "Pain was the admission" ft: Brian Ready

Brian Ready is not just a national recovery advocate, speaker, and motivational coach—he is a beacon of hope and transformation. A devoted father to three beautiful daughters and a loving husband to his wife, Kimberly, Brian embraces the privilege of working alongside her every day, united in their mission to guide others on the path to recovery.

As the visionary founder of Oaks Recovery, one of the nation’s preeminent 12-step recovery programs nestled in upstate South Carolina, Brian has committed his life to forging a sanctuary where individuals can find solace, support, and profound change. Oaks Recovery is more than just a program; it is a lifeline extended to individuals from every corner of the globe, offering them the compassion, tools, and unwavering love necessary to break free from the shackles of addiction.

Brian's own arduous journey through addiction and recovery ignites his fervor for advocacy and outreach. It is this very experience that has crystallized his belief in the transformative power of community, accountability, the 12 steps, and the gift of second chances. Whether addressing audiences on national stages, coaching individuals with personalized care, or immersing himself in hands-on recovery work, Brian's unwavering dedication to igniting hope and a renewed sense of purpose in others is evident.

His mission transcends the ordinary: to change lives, restore families, and unequivocally demonstrate that recovery is within reach for anyone ready to take that first courageous step and commit to the arduous yet rewarding journey toward genuine freedom from alcoholism and drug addiction. Brian Ready is living proof that with passion, perseverance, and a supportive community, the light at the end of the tunnel is not just a glimmer—it is a radiant sunrise heralding a new beginning.

 

Episode 33 Special Guest - A bunch of drunks "We, was the problem"

I must be willing to do whatever “anything” looks like to help another alcoholic. This means offering unwavering friendship and fellowship, and assuring him that if he genuinely desires to get well, I will do anything to support him on his journey. The bond we create is founded on trust, empathy, and shared experience.  Pg 95

You can have what we have, no strings attached. However, this comes with the need for brutal honesty with oneself. You must be willing to change every pattern in your life and be consistent. Consistency is not about doing the same thing over and over, but about doing what needs to be done next. Implementing discipline is essential, and through this process, we transform each other by creating an intimate and supportive relationship.

1. We are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable: This fundamental acknowledgment is the first step towards healing. Recognizing our powerlessness over alcohol and the chaos it brings into our lives opens the door to seeking help and change.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity: Embracing the belief in a higher power—whether it be a spiritual presence, a supportive community, or another source of strength—brings hope and guidance. This belief fosters a sense of purpose and direction in the recovery process.
3. Made a conscious decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him: This step is about surrendering control and trusting in the higher power identified in Step 2. It involves making a profound commitment to follow a new path, allowing this higher power to guide our actions and decisions.

Through these steps, we embark on a journey of profound personal transformation, supporting each other and embracing the possibility of a better future. This process not only fosters individual growth but also strengthens the bonds of fellowship and shared recovery.

 

Episode 34 Special Guest: Margery Bailey "Hissy Fit...Find Your Breath"

Margery Bailey's life is a gripping saga of resilience and profound transformation. Born in Sacramento, CA, she approaches her 50th birthday with a story that speaks to the depths of human struggle and the triumph of spirit. Raised in a turbulent alcoholic Irish Catholic household with two sisters, including an identical twin, Margery's early years were steeped in chaos. Her father, a Vietnam veteran, battled severe depression and PTSD, profoundly shaping her understanding of the world. Yet, his playful moments—enjoying George Carlin, Belushi on SNL, and dancing to Motown records—etched endearing memories that stayed with her. Margery's deeply religious mother remained steadfastly connected to her Catholic church, offering a stark contrast to the disorder at home.

Margery's talent and drive earned her acceptance into an Arts Magnet High School, where she thrived in voice and acting, directed plays, and toured military bases, senior facilities, and Japan with a high school jazz choir. But after high school, the protective bubble burst. Moving out of her restrictive and religious home, Margery faced the harsh realities of juggling university, work, and independence in San Francisco. The pressure led to a breakdown and a return to Sacramento. Determined, she completed her education while working three jobs, saving money for a move to Los Angeles, where she spent three years as a producer before relocating to New York.

In New York City, the chaos intensified. Within just four months, the Twin Towers fell, and Margery's drinking spiraled out of control. Seeking solace, she returned to California, immersed herself in hot yoga, and became a realtor just as the dot-com bubble burst, causing her to lose everything. By 2007, despite becoming a hot yoga teacher and mentoring under a powerful yogi, her alcohol consumption, depression, and sadness grew worse.

Motherhood at nearly 40 triggered early menopause, pushing Margery into researching and writing about healing. Observing that some in yoga found healing while others remained stuck, she began writing "Thinking About Chakra." However, its esoteric nature seemed out of reach for many. She realized that true healing required inner work, focusing on breath work and surrender rather than just physical postures.

2024 marked a pivotal turning point. A month before her 49th birthday, Margery decided to stop drinking. Her health had deteriorated after the Johnson & Johnson vaccine in 2021, and a move to South Carolina exacerbated her symptoms. The accumulated grief finally demanded her attention. As a single mom, she had justified her wine nights but came to see that alcohol was detrimental during menopause.

Margery spent this year crafting a workbook/journal for peri-menopausal and menopausal women, filled with tools she wished she had known a decade ago. Ready to self-publish, she aims to share her insights with women in need. Margery's transformation from a chaotic upbringing to a spiritually enriched life is a testament to her resilience and commitment to personal growth. Now, she stands poised to inspire and support other women facing similar challenges, guiding them out of darkness and into the light of self-discovery and healing.