The Lose Control Podcast

Episode 2 "Prison to Poipubeach.com" Ft: Roz

Rosalynn Bourgeois, known as Roz, was born and raised just outside of Washington, DC, in PG County, MD. Growing up as a minority in a tumultuous household, she constantly felt the pressure to fit in and seek attention, especially with her parents embroiled in constant conflict. Roz identifies as a recovering Catholic, having endured religious beliefs that were aggressively forced upon her in a manner she describes as spiritually abusive. The weight of this upbringing required years of therapy to unravel and heal from, a journey she embarked on after achieving sobriety. 
Despite the chaos, Roz excelled in school and was a dedicated soccer player. She graduated with an Economics degree but fell into a toxic relationship and eventually cracked. A psychotic relapse spiraled out of control, driving Roz to move to Charlotte in a desperate bid to "escape" life. For nine harrowing months, she hit rock bottom, DJing for days without sleep, entangled in a chaotic cycle of self-destruction. Her first arrest was in 2008, leading to a felony and time in county jail. Weekends in county became a nightmare after a dirty urine test sent her to prison for three years. Vowing to never use again, Roz quickly found herself back in the same destructive patterns.. It was in 2013, at a rehab in Michigan, that Roz finally found the lifeline she needed to get clean.. A decade ago, she walked into her last rehab with a felony record, a dismal 500 credit score, and an empty bank account. Her personal relationships were in tatters, ravaged by addiction, childhood trauma, and the severe emotional immaturity that came from years of drug-induced self-centeredness. Though her journey wasn't without setbacks, Roz has been thriving since 2015, relentlessly dedicated to transforming her life and mindset.
Today, Roz stands as a testament to the power of relentless dedication and profound personal growth. Her journey from the depths of despair to a life filled with achievement and purpose is a powerful reminder of the human spirit's capacity for change. Roz's story is one of passionate resolve, illustrating that no matter how deep the fall, the climb back up is always possible with unwavering commitment and the right support. Roz stands as a triumphant force, embodying the power of transformation and resilience. As the Director of Business Development for her employer, she brings her wealth of experience and drive to her role. Roz holds both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree, and she is licensed to sell real estate in Hawaii, She owns three properties through the business she created, reflecting her entrepreneurial spirit and hard work. Roz’s journey has taken her across the globe, allowing her to experience the richness of over 20 countries a testament to her unwavering determination and skill.
Married to a loving and supportive man, Roz has built a life of stability and love.. Roz's personal relationships and entire life have blossomed beyond her wildest dreams, a direct result of her decision to take control of her destiny. Her story is not just about overcoming addiction but about harnessing the strength within to build a life of purpose and fulfillment. Roz's journey is a profound testament to the indomitable human spirit and the incredible possibilities that arise when we dare to reclaim our lives. Her path to recovery has been nothing short of extraordinary.
She passionately declares "I am the creator of my world, so I better make choices that align with my dreams,". For Roz, it's about reclaiming her life from the grip of addiction and living with intention, on her own terms. Her story is a powerful testament to the human spirit's resilience and the unwavering commitment to personal growth. Roz has emerged as a beacon of transformation and resilience. 

Episode 1: "Pain was the admission" ft: Brian Ready

Brian Ready is not just a national recovery advocate, speaker, and motivational coach—he is a beacon of hope and transformation. A devoted father to three beautiful daughters and a loving husband to his wife, Kimberly, Brian embraces the privilege of working alongside her every day, united in their mission to guide others on the path to recovery.

As the visionary founder of Oaks Recovery, one of the nation’s preeminent 12-step recovery programs nestled in upstate South Carolina, Brian has committed his life to forging a sanctuary where individuals can find solace, support, and profound change. Oaks Recovery is more than just a program; it is a lifeline extended to individuals from every corner of the globe, offering them the compassion, tools, and unwavering love necessary to break free from the shackles of addiction.

Brian's own arduous journey through addiction and recovery ignites his fervor for advocacy and outreach. It is this very experience that has crystallized his belief in the transformative power of community, accountability, the 12 steps, and the gift of second chances. Whether addressing audiences on national stages, coaching individuals with personalized care, or immersing himself in hands-on recovery work, Brian's unwavering dedication to igniting hope and a renewed sense of purpose in others is evident.

His mission transcends the ordinary: to change lives, restore families, and unequivocally demonstrate that recovery is within reach for anyone ready to take that first courageous step and commit to the arduous yet rewarding journey toward genuine freedom from alcoholism and drug addiction. Brian Ready is living proof that with passion, perseverance, and a supportive community, the light at the end of the tunnel is not just a glimmer—it is a radiant sunrise heralding a new beginning.

 

Episode 33 Special Guest - A bunch of drunks "We, was the problem"

I must be willing to do whatever “anything” looks like to help another alcoholic. This means offering unwavering friendship and fellowship, and assuring him that if he genuinely desires to get well, I will do anything to support him on his journey. The bond we create is founded on trust, empathy, and shared experience.  Pg 95

You can have what we have, no strings attached. However, this comes with the need for brutal honesty with oneself. You must be willing to change every pattern in your life and be consistent. Consistency is not about doing the same thing over and over, but about doing what needs to be done next. Implementing discipline is essential, and through this process, we transform each other by creating an intimate and supportive relationship.

1. We are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable: This fundamental acknowledgment is the first step towards healing. Recognizing our powerlessness over alcohol and the chaos it brings into our lives opens the door to seeking help and change.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity: Embracing the belief in a higher power—whether it be a spiritual presence, a supportive community, or another source of strength—brings hope and guidance. This belief fosters a sense of purpose and direction in the recovery process.
3. Made a conscious decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him: This step is about surrendering control and trusting in the higher power identified in Step 2. It involves making a profound commitment to follow a new path, allowing this higher power to guide our actions and decisions.

Through these steps, we embark on a journey of profound personal transformation, supporting each other and embracing the possibility of a better future. This process not only fosters individual growth but also strengthens the bonds of fellowship and shared recovery.

 

Episode 34 Special Guest: Margery Bailey "Hissy Fit...Find Your Breath"

Margery Bailey's life is a gripping saga of resilience and profound transformation. Born in Sacramento, CA, she approaches her 50th birthday with a story that speaks to the depths of human struggle and the triumph of spirit. Raised in a turbulent alcoholic Irish Catholic household with two sisters, including an identical twin, Margery's early years were steeped in chaos. Her father, a Vietnam veteran, battled severe depression and PTSD, profoundly shaping her understanding of the world. Yet, his playful moments—enjoying George Carlin, Belushi on SNL, and dancing to Motown records—etched endearing memories that stayed with her. Margery's deeply religious mother remained steadfastly connected to her Catholic church, offering a stark contrast to the disorder at home.

Margery's talent and drive earned her acceptance into an Arts Magnet High School, where she thrived in voice and acting, directed plays, and toured military bases, senior facilities, and Japan with a high school jazz choir. But after high school, the protective bubble burst. Moving out of her restrictive and religious home, Margery faced the harsh realities of juggling university, work, and independence in San Francisco. The pressure led to a breakdown and a return to Sacramento. Determined, she completed her education while working three jobs, saving money for a move to Los Angeles, where she spent three years as a producer before relocating to New York.

In New York City, the chaos intensified. Within just four months, the Twin Towers fell, and Margery's drinking spiraled out of control. Seeking solace, she returned to California, immersed herself in hot yoga, and became a realtor just as the dot-com bubble burst, causing her to lose everything. By 2007, despite becoming a hot yoga teacher and mentoring under a powerful yogi, her alcohol consumption, depression, and sadness grew worse.

Motherhood at nearly 40 triggered early menopause, pushing Margery into researching and writing about healing. Observing that some in yoga found healing while others remained stuck, she began writing "Thinking About Chakra." However, its esoteric nature seemed out of reach for many. She realized that true healing required inner work, focusing on breath work and surrender rather than just physical postures.

2024 marked a pivotal turning point. A month before her 49th birthday, Margery decided to stop drinking. Her health had deteriorated after the Johnson & Johnson vaccine in 2021, and a move to South Carolina exacerbated her symptoms. The accumulated grief finally demanded her attention. As a single mom, she had justified her wine nights but came to see that alcohol was detrimental during menopause.

Margery spent this year crafting a workbook/journal for peri-menopausal and menopausal women, filled with tools she wished she had known a decade ago. Ready to self-publish, she aims to share her insights with women in need. Margery's transformation from a chaotic upbringing to a spiritually enriched life is a testament to her resilience and commitment to personal growth. Now, she stands poised to inspire and support other women facing similar challenges, guiding them out of darkness and into the light of self-discovery and healing.

Episode 32 Special Guest: Matthew Parsley "I didn't want to say YES - I couldn't say NO"

This week’s special guest is Matthew Parsley. Born in Long Beach, Long Island, and raised in Dillon, South Carolina, by his grandmother and great-grandmother from the age of six, Matthew's early life was deeply influenced by a religious and spiritual household. Church provided solace, but his childhood was also marked by the trauma of being molested by a favorite cousin, a secret that cast a long shadow over his formative years. Unlike other boys, Matthew felt different, gravitating towards girls and finding comfort in their company. His grandmother introduced him to baseball, but another hidden, darker world beckoned, fueled by his father's stash of VHS tapes and DVDs. Pornography, masturbation, and eventually promiscuity became secret addictions that led him to unimaginable places.

College in Daytona Beach, Florida, brought new experiences and vices. Introduced to weed by his best friend, who passed away in 2010, Matthew became a weekend warrior. Transient sexual relations and pornography addiction escalated, leading to missed classes and lost opportunities. Despite graduating, he didn't earn a degree, having lost his band scholarship due to poor attendance.

In 2016, Matthew moved to New York City, where the grip of sex and drugs tightened around his life. Methamphetamine became his new demon, intensifying his sex addiction and leading him down the path of intravenous drug use. Soon, he found himself ostracized after testing HIV positive. His family feared for his safety as he vanished into the city's underbelly. The stroke his father suffered only deepened Matthew's resentment and fueled his desire to escape through drugs, leaving his mother to care for his ailing father alone. This period marked a profound descent into darkness, where the weight of his choices and the pain of his reality collided.

By 2022, Matthew had reached the lowest point in his life. Suicidal and broken, he found himself in the back of a sheriff's car on the way to detox. His first meeting at Primary Purpose in Myrtle Beach was a pivotal moment, marking the start of his transformation. It was there that Matthew came to understand his spiritual sickness.

Today, Matthew is a new man, rebuilt by the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship of the spirit. He passionately says, “Staying stopped… getting high… that’s the small part. It’s what’s inside that needs reparations.” Matthew's presence today is a testament to his choice to be present, living one day at a time.

Matthew's spiritual relationship with God and others is now the cornerstone of his life. Embracing life's terms and focusing on the journey rather than the outcome, he greets each day with profound gratitude and purpose. His entry into Oaks Recovery on his mother's birthday, June 25, symbolizes his rebirth and unwavering commitment to a brighter future. Matthew dedicates himself to helping other addicts, working diligently, and forgiving himself for past mistakes. His journey is a profound testament to the boundless possibility of change and the unbreakable resilience of the human spirit.

 

Episode 31 Special Guest: HYPE "Ramen noodles out of a hubcap"

Hype's story is one of unimaginable pain and redemption. Born in prison, he faced a life of hardship from the very beginning. At 11, he witnessed his mother's death, and by 12, he endured relentless physical abuse. In a desperate act of self-defense, Hype set his abuser on fire, leading to a sentence of juvenile life. He was released at 19, only to face more turmoil.

In 2001, Hype's twin brother was deployed overseas, but Hype was denied the chance to join him because of his criminal record. In a fit of rage and despair, in January 2002, he stormed a federal courthouse with pipe bombs and assault rifles, resulting in a conviction for domestic terrorism and a 480-month sentence in a high-security prison. The loss of his twin to suicide, driven by PTSD from military service, only deepened Hype's anguish.

While incarcerated, Hype's anger led him to assault another inmate, leaving the man to die of hypothermia in a prison freezer. This act sent Hype to the A.D.X. Supermax security prison, all before he turned 25.

Tragedy continued to follow Hype. He accidentally killed his wife and her son in a car wreck, leaving him lost and alone, feeling destined to live in hell on earth. In his despair, Hype found himself drawn to a supremacist group, seeking a sense of belonging in a dark place. But amidst the darkness, a glimmer of hope emerged. Hype was saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for humanity on Calvary. God pulled him from the depths of hell, showing him a path to redemption. Hype learned to love himself and others after years of becoming calloused. He fell in love once again and began to start a new life, a new soul with a gift from God—a soulmate.

However, Hype endured yet another loss. Despite finding redemption and growth, his girlfriend relapsed and committed suicide. Hype found himself in such despair, feeling destined only to experience grief, pain, and heartache, he thoughts led to one final answer to stop the pain. It was then that God revealed to Hype his true purpose: to help save other young boys from the same trauma he endured. To help others escape the shackles of self-loathing and self-destruction. Through his faith and newfound mission, Hype transformed his life, dedicating himself to guiding others out of the darkness and into the light.

Episode 30 PART 3 Special Guest: Ashleigh & Lance Cline "This is the life I prayed for"

Introducing our special guests this week: Ashleigh and Lance Cline – “This is the life I prayed for.”

Ashleigh and Lance's story began in 2019 when they connected through the Any Length Recovery Facebook page. At that time, Ashleigh was just four months out of prison, starting to rebuild her life, while Lance was emerging from his own prison, the trap houses of W. Baltimore. Both were early in their recovery journeys, with Lance seeking convenience rather than a relationship. Ashleigh made it clear she wasn't interested in casual encounters, and they decided to take it slow—a new experience for both. They spent a month talking on the phone, getting to know each other.

Once Ashleigh regained her license, she drove to Sumter to visit Lance, living at a men's recovery home, working full-time, and learning how to navigate life as an honest, responsible person. She drove every chance she got and began to fall in love. Initially, Lance viewed their connection as short-term and superficial. Despite their differences, they found solace, peace, and understanding in each other, creating an unshakeable foundation.

Those weekend visits became a cherished routine. Not long after, Lance experienced a new season of true love. He got a car, and together they maximized their time, traveling back and forth. Trust came naturally despite the distance. The power of a Higher Calm unveiled true love and brought them closer. Ashleigh fell in love with Lance's passion and commitment to recovery—his very essence. Lance fell in love with Ashleigh’s smile, goofy energy, and zeal for life.

On June 18, 2022, Ashleigh and Lance got married. Over the years, these two unlikely personalities have grown immensely together. Their love story is like a fairytale written by the Coen Brothers, transforming from hell to heaven on earth—a metamorphosis from a worm to a beautiful butterfly. They have learned to take responsibility and build their lives side by side, brick by brick. Honest and raw communication has been the cornerstone of their marriage, preventing real trials and tribulations. Navigating life as sober individuals, they continuously help others along the way.

Lance and Ashleigh are best friends and steadfast supporters in all areas of life. They are deeply in love with the concept of family and are committed to being a part of it. They understand the importance of giving advice when needed and practicing reflective listening to truly connect with each other's souls and thoughts. Their journey together is a testament to growth, love, and mutual support.

 

 

Episode 29 Special Guest: Chris Lane 2 cases - 2 handles - 2 days "Oaks Recovery saved my life"

Chris Lane, 35, was born in the small town of Rumford, Maine.  At the age of five, he moved with his parents to the rural parts of Columbia and Lexington, South Carolina.

Growing up, Chris witnessed most of his family either battling addiction or navigating recovery. Following this difficult family legacy, he began drinking at 14. Like many, his relationship with alcohol saw peaks and valleys, his daily life revolving around his next drink.

In 2020, as the world spiraled out of control, so did Chris's drinking. It became a constant companion, making work and everyday activities impossible to face sober.

It wasn’t until 2023 that Chris finally entered a recovery program, a journey marked by multiple relapses. Only at Oaks Recovery, where he found true enlightenment and a profound spiritual shift, did Chris realize he needed no reservations—just trust in the process. By surrendering control and embracing his Higher Power, he discovered that recovery is real.

Today, Chris’s story is one of resilience and transformation.  Embracing self-awareness with tenderness has allowed him to grow and heal, turning his vulnerabilities into strengths.  This vulnerability creates a space for honest connection, allowing him and his fellows to truly understand and support each other. Chris's journey proves that even in the face of adversity, there is hope and a path forward.